Thoughts tonight as I soak away this stress:
I heard a sermon once(pretty sure it was Pastor Bill) that referred to your tears as the tool that the Holy Spirit uses to fill you up and to cleanse you.
At the time I had so much going on that I was crazy weepy for good and bad reasons as most seasons in life are full of both. Those tears were often frustrating and puzzled me, leaving a feeling of shame and guilt that would wash over me.
It wasn’t until that sermon that it clicked, that for you to be filled with something there must be a crack. I mean have you ever tried filling or emptying a sealed glass jar, the only way in is to break it or pop the top open. Which is the same for us we need to crack or willing open up to feel the power that is just one cry away.
My struggle with OCD and anxiety has never been a secret but had always been what made me put up a wall around me. A wall that I would fight tooth and nail to keep up at all costs, which always led to more stress for me-losing friendships-missing the opportunity for life changing relationships-the list goes on and I often felt myself being isolated during these dark times.
Until that moment when I realized that the Holy Spirit can’t come in and cleanse away all of the worry, anxiety, stress, crazy thoughts, etc unless there is a way to get in. Or it can’t fill you with Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control(if you sang this then you get bonus points!).
For myself recognizing that I can’t hold it together 24/7 and most importantly that I was never asked to do so, was a critical point for me. Realizing that vulnerability of crying, weepying, or breaking down was the biggest strength that no one ever talks about(Unless your Brene Brown-go read her books y’all).
All we hear about is how strong you are for facing what you’ve faced, for how amazing you are for overcoming your mountains, that you’re holding it all together so well—rarely will you see people give you a compliment as you are crying out for help, opening up to share your struggles so you don’t have to feel so alone anymore, for breaking down to allow the tears to flow. It makes people uncomfortable, I get it. Because we’ve been taught to not be vulnerable with others, whether from a bully in your life picking on that opening up moment or just from doing what we’ve seen our relatives do for centuries before us.
But what I’ve learned is the true power is feeling those weak moments, embracing them and choosing to find connection with others using those things that made you feel isolated to feel free again as you let them out. In those times the Holy Spirit is able to fill in those cracks whether they are hairline or tectonic fault size.
In doing this it not only helps the healing process for yourself but does what God himself called each of us to-connect whether with Him or the people around you. Sharing in our troubles helps you and those who’ve been through something similar. You aren’t doing those you’re called to share with any favors by keeping in the lessons you’ve learned or the opportunities to help you, most importantly it doesn’t help you at all to keep it in.
Shouting all of your personal issues and struggles from the rooftops isn’t what I’m saying either. Be still enough and listen to your heart as to who you’re being called to share, connect or reach out to. But for sure always head to the Big Man upstairs first, He is like a parent waiting for your cries for help and wanting to help you learn how to grow from whatever you need help with.
Sometimes those weepy moments are for good things and if we aren’t open enough to cherish them then we often times take it for granite. Which leads to you not growing with it, losing it all together or still feeling empty when the butterflies are gone. Good weepy moments are still from God and He wants to be there celebrating right along with us.
We all know we aren’t here to acquire as many things as possible or to push our personal opinions that’s we’ve acquired through our own perspective life journey onto others or to flounder out in the world all on our own, we were meant to connect, share, love and weep together.
So here’s my plea from this incredibly relaxing bath: Let’s see more honest weeping, calls out for help, allowing the Holy Spirit to fill us, more still moments that you can grow from and love for everyone in the path God has put you on.
If this doesn’t ring true for you or if you don’t feel drawn to learn more from this that’s ok too, I was just called to share with a wide net, no worries keep doing what works for you.
But always know you are not alone in any of this, ever. You are loved whether you have the Great Wall of China to breakdown or you are now an open weeper.
